Showing posts with label #mummyblogger. Show all posts
Showing posts with label #mummyblogger. Show all posts

Sunday, 20 August 2017

Woods, Ink and Library Visits

After hitting a bit of a downer the other week, these past two weeks have been much better.
I've been more productive and I'm starting to feel a little bit better within myself.

Ru went off to nursery on Tuesday so we took the others for a walk in the woods and found a new route to take, which took us to brand new unclimbed trees.


We also went off track and found a beautiful spot between all the trees where we collected pine cones for the wood burner.


Wednesday Ru should have been at nursery but because the power was being turned off in the village his nursery is in he had to have the day off.
So Wednesday was pretty much spent lining up all his Lightning McQueens.


Oscar also learnt to ride his bike with out the stabilisers on, spurred on by Alex who had his taken off a week ago.
It's nice to see how quickly they've taken to riding their bikes.
As with Noah he's only actually really started riding his bike since we moved here and he went from not being able to ride at all to doing little stunts like standing up on the bar whilst the bike moves!


I also did a little me thing.... (Sorry Mum)
I got some new tattoos.

Getting a tattoo is way for me to heal when things have gone wrong.
Back when I was a teenager I used to self harm (something I'm not proud about or something I really talk about) but as soon as I hit 17 and had a fake ID I was getting tattooed or pierced.

It was my way of letting the hurt and pain out and turning into something beautiful.
My thigh is a constant reminder of the bullying I went through throughout my school life and when I see it I feel sad but when I look at my tattoos I can't really remember why I was sad but I always feel uplifted when I look at them.


I'm 31 and its still my therapy.
When things go wrong or I'm feeling crappy I'll dye my hair and get a tattoo.
It's an instant fix and something beautiful to look at day in day out.


We took the twins and Ru to the Library for the first time, we got their a little early so we had to go and get a coffee while we waited for it to open.


We headed towards the beach and popped into Hunstanton Ice Cream Factory for a drink.
The boys each had a juice and Jon and I had a nice warm coffee.


Once the library was open we headed back and let the boys choose some books to read as I'm getting pretty bored with reading the same ones over and over.

The twins each picked a surprise bag filled with books.
Each bag had a different topic.
Oscar's bag was filled up with stories about magic and Alex's was filled up with stories all about Dinosaurs.

Rupert picked a few new Peppa Pigs stories and one about Jack Frost.
I also picked up a couple of books for Noah as I want him to get back into the swing of reading every day before he goes back to school!


Yesterday we received a letter saying Ru is going to be properly tested for autism and were also sent a sleep diary that I have to fill in.
Reading the letter made me start to feel really uneasy but good as the same time.
Complete mix of emotions!


I also started a new cross stitch project...
Holy Guacamole!!!


 To end the post a picture of the cat ... Why? .... Well why not!?




What have you been up too?
Are you looking forward to the kids going back to school?


Monday, 14 August 2017

Keeping Busy....

The week after my op I was kept pretty busy as my parents came to visit.
They brought along my two nieces, so we made sure every day we did something different.

The Friday before they came we went to Jon's parents and had our very first BBQ at their new house and then the boys all played in the pool and hot tub.


Saturday 

My parents arrived nice and early, so none of the day was wasted.
After breakfast we headed off to the woods.


It was nice to see the kids all getting on nicely.

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They haven't seen each other in well over 9 months.
Noah and Isla have a great bond and I think that will be one which will stick forever.


The kids all had fun exploring the bog and looking for special feathers.
My dad ran circles around them trying to get his daily 10,000 steps in.


After the woodland walk, we headed off to a local pub for some food.
Luckily the pub had a lovely play area for the kids, which meant we could sit and enjoy some food and a glass of wine in peace.


Sunday.

We headed off to the local carnival & boot fair.
The kids all had a budget of £1 and they set to work finding something to buy.
Amazingly they all came away with something that they really wanted.

After a few goes on the bouncy castle we headed back home for some lunch before we went back.
Once home my dad got out the slip & slid he had hiding in the car.


After they were bored with the pool and their tummies full of pizza we headed back to the carnival to go on some more rides.

Rupert had his dreams come true by sitting in a real firetruck.
Every time we walk past the fire station I have to pick him up so he can look in the window at the trucks, so when he saw this sitting in the middle of the field he ran straight for it.


Monday.

We had planned to have a picnic down on the beach, but the weather wasn't looking great so we decided to head to Hunstanton's Sea Life Centre.

They all had fun seeing the different sea creatures and having the chance to hold some of them.
My favourites again were the gorgeous seals.





After we were finished at the Sea Life Centre we headed off for a spot of lunch and a nice glass of Blush Gin (children obviously had apple juice)


In the afternoon my mum and I sneaked out for a child free coffee to have a chat and we headed over to the Norfolk Lavender Farm which is across the road from me.

We had a look around the gift shop and then ordered up our coffee and cake.
I was very taken with the bright pink cake and when I was told it actually tasted like Watermelon I couldn't not order it.

Amazingly it tasted just like a watermelon flavoured jolly rancher.


To end their time here we bought a nice bottle of rĂ²se to have with dinner.


It was nice to have mum here as it kept my mind off things but after she left I kinda got down in the dumps and haven't really done much since.

In the last few days I've focused my energy into getting my new venture off the ground.
Once it's up and running I'll be sharing it with you.
So stay tuned.


Tuesday, 8 August 2017

Another Heartbreak.....

It happened again!
Miscarriage number two.
Two in the space of 5 months!


Same time as last time, right before I hit 7 weeks!

Everything this time round seemed so positive....
I was nauseous,
I had extremely tender breasts,
I had the metallic taste in my mouth and I was craving foods that I don't normally crave.

We didn't tell many people as we were scared it would happen again.

But because of all the symptoms I was having it was hard not to tell a few people.
I was excited.
It seemed so right this time.
Just like all the other pregnancies.

I booked a scan for when I was 8 weeks as I just wanted to make sure it was ok and I knew I wouldn't be able to wait till 10 weeks.

But the weekend before I turned 7 weeks I had a bleed.
It was like someone turned a tap on and then turned it right off again.
It seemed to heavy to be spotting but not enough to be a proper miscarriage.

I was confused and not sure what to do.

I phoned up the Early Pregnancy Unit on the Monday and booked a scan for the Tuesday.
I couldn't just wait and see I needed to know what was going on.

The scan showed the pregnancy sack and little tiny embryo but it didn't show a heartbeat and it did show a lot of blood.

They rebooked me in for the following week and told me to be prepared to have a visit to the a&e department once I started to bleed.

So I went away feeling pretty scared and completely torn up inside.
I spent the whole week waiting....
Nothing happened.

I kept being sick, I was constantly tired.
I did nothing but sit on the sofa staring into space.

The waiting was killing me.
By the end of the week I was starting to think They must be wrong and by the next scan the blood will be gone and there will be a heartbeat...

The following Tuesday came and I went back to the little room to hear my fate.
It was a new sister and when she read my notes I could tell by the look on her face it wasn't going to be the news I wanted it to be.

I went in for the scan and the only thing that had changed was the amount of blood surrounding the pregnancy sack.

I was given three choices...
To keep waiting and let it happen naturally,
Take some pills to make it happen and have a hospital stay whilst I bled or have the pregnancy tissue surgically removed.

The sister let me have the evening to decide and then I had to go back on the Wednesday to let them know which I was going to choose.

I knew I wouldn't be able to wait.
The easiest option was to have the op but I'd never been put to sleep before and the thought of it really worried me.

I decided the op seemed like my best option and on the Wednesday I was booked into have it the following day.

Thursday was blur really....
It happened,
I haven't cried yet
I'm trying to pretend it never really happened.
I'm keeping busy but I know it will hit me sooner or later1

My baby making days are over.
I can't do this again!

Saturday, 29 July 2017

Four Boys In The Wood


We got out the house today by taking the boys off to Dersingham woods.
We love it there, it's become our favourite place to walk the dog and we drive through it twice a week taking Ru to nursery.

We haven't done much this week due to some health issues that I'm trying to deal with, so it was nice to get some fresh air and see they boys running and jumping about in nature.


When we said we're off to the woods today, their first question was.... can we climb trees?
For boys who have never really show much interest in climbing trees it was a bit of a oh where did that come from moment but we said of course!

As soon as they were out the van they went off on a hunt to find the perfect tree to climb.
Noah thought he was doing really well until he turned around and saw that Alex was further up than him.


Even Ru had a go.



After they had finished climbing trees we went off to find the local cows.
They weren't in their usual spot, so it took a little time.
We eventually found them at the bottom of the hill.

They were all pretty desperate to get as close as possible, but within getting a few feet away they decided that was far too close and they ran back up the steps to Daddy.



We did a little bit of fairy hunting and the boys all managed to find at least ten little mushrooms each, unfortunately no fairies this time.


A quick tribe pose before jumping back in the van and heading off to Nana's for a quick dip in the hot-tub.



Thursday, 27 July 2017

Rupert's First Assessment With The Community Paediatricians

This was something I was desperate for a couple of months ago, but I really thought it wasn't going to happen.

I even had some stuck up Health Visitor tell me that she was going to cancel the doctors referral as she really didn't think there was anything wrong with him.

After talking to a mum at school and finding out the troubles she's had trying to get a diagnosis for her son who is the same age as Noah I really thought 'right well if their having trouble there's no hope for us'.
So imagine my surprise when out of the blue we have a letter telling us we have an appointment the first week of the summer holidays.



I spoke to the mum at school and told her who we were seeing and she told me she was one of the nicer ones and the one who actually agreed with her about her son.

So I had a tiny little glimmer of hope, but as the day came closer I really started to dread it.

Was I going to be told the same old oh he's fine, he's giving me eye contact and that its all in my head?

Ru's appointment was on Monday at 2.40 and the day couldn't have gone any slower!
When we arrived we sat in the waiting room and Ru played nicely with the cars and the kitchen.
We waited a while to be seen and the butterflies in my stomach were going crazy.

When we were eventually called in we sat on the chairs by her and Rupert sat on me hiding behind me but then every now and then popping his head out and smiling at her.

He then got bored of doing that and got down and started playing with the toys that were set out. Making me sit on the tiny little chairs beside him.

She did say because he was giving her eye contact and looking like he was listening to what we were talking about she really didn't think he was autistic, but she listened to us and watched him.
 She then agreed she could see some of the traits and understood where we coming from.

She also agreed he has some sensory issues.
It was nice to finally be listened to and not fobbed off.
I know from speaking to other mums of autistic children that eye contact is not the be all and end all, so I was happy that she didn't let that be it.

She is going to send us an autism questionnaire for us and his nursery to fill in along with a sleep diary. 
She will also arrange for him to see a speech therapist along with some other professionals.
I'm looking forward to reading the letter that she sends us and seeing what is going to happen next.




Tuesday, 13 June 2017

What's Been Going On With The Mini Beasts.....

I've been away longer than I thought and said I would which lead me to questioned myself if blogging was what I really wanted to be doing.
It all seemed to be turning into a bit of a chore.

I'm still undecided but I wanted to come back and do the reviews that I have outstanding, as they are really cool and try and do more personal posts to see if I can get back into the swing of it.

In this post I'm going share how I'm getting on after the miscarriage and what the boys have been up too.
It's a bit of a heavy photo post but I know some of you guys like that!


My parents came to visit after they got back from South America and they bought the boys these awesome lama hats. 
The twins are now desperate for it to become cold so they can wear them to school.

Whilst my parents were here we had a big storm with thunder and lightning and the boys all went crazy for it and started dancing around in the rain and waiting for the lightning bolts to flash up in the sky.


Noah went off on his first holiday without me, and spent the half term in sunny Portugal with his Auntie Jenni and Uncle Ben.
He had a great time away and hardly missed us at all.


We have started taking Ru to parent and toddler swimming and he seems to be really enjoying it. 
I thought it would just be parents and toddlers just enjoying the pool without other people in it, but its  like a little swimming lesson and helps babies and toddlers get used to being in the water.
Ru has always been a bit iffy when it comes to the pool but he really enjoyed his first class.
We will be going back next Monday for another one.


Whilst Noah was away in Portugal we tried to make sure we did some fun things with the twins and Ru.
On the days that Ru was in nursery we took the twins to the arcades on the beach front and gave them  £5 each. Oscar and I both hit the jackpot on one of the ticket machines and each won 100 tickets and Alex took a liking to the 2p machines.

In the end we managed to win over 600 tickets and the boys each picked 3 things from the prize shop.
Afterwards we got some chips and ate them on the beach front.



We popped down the road to the Animal Gardens and the boys enjoyed running around the maze finding all the stamps they needed to collect in order to win a badge.
We had great fun until Ru decided it would be a good idea to kick sand into my eye.


With all the lovely weather we've been having we decided it would be a great idea to buy the boys a paddling pool.
We found this one on amazon and the boys were very impressed with it.


It's ridiculously cold in there and the boys can only really manage to stay in for 10 minutes before there lips turn blue.
I don't mind it too much, but I can sit down in it and the water comes up to my chin, where as the boys are too small to be able to sit down in it with their heads above water.
Hopefully when its summer, the sun will be able to heat the pool up just a tad so its more enjoyable for them.
If not it will be a summer of going over to Nana & Gramps house to use their heated pool.


The twins have just had their 5th birthday.
We gave them their presents early, so they could learn to ride the bikes before they had a sponsored trundle at school (the day after their birthday.)


They loved their full faced helmets that Nana & Gramps bought them and they took to their bikes like pros.
Alex took right off zooming around the garden and Oscar tried to peddle backwards for the first 10 minutes but then it clicked.


After a few days of riding round the garden we took them out to ride around the house, Ru went on his balance bike and both Jon and I had trouble keeping up with them.



Another big thing happened recently ...... Rupert had his first ever proper haircut and this was the end result.


He was so good and did everything the barber told him to do, it took nearly half an hour to chop all his hair off but he didn't once moan or want to get down.
I didn't plan for his curls to be all cut off but he could hardly see and was itching his head a lot so I decided I would just go for it and I am in love with it.
He looks even cuter than he did before.
We kept it long on the top, as we didn't want to take his wildness away too much, we still wanted him to look like Ru and I'm very pleased the barber actually listened instead of doing his own thing.
Ru likes his new hair too, and tells everyone all about it.


I'm started to feel like I have myself back together, I kinda lost it a little after the miscarriage and just felt like I couldn't be bothered with anything or anyone.

My body had failed me, and that just made me fall to pieces.
I am a mum, making babies is what I do. If I couldn't do that what really was the point.

I let the boys homework slide, I was angry and I was a total a mess.
Jon and I argued. 
Mainly I shouted at him then at the boys for just being them.

Having the break from social media and the blog I was able to spend time being the mum I should be to the boys and have enjoyed just being with them and taking in the love that they give me everyday and not asking them to pose for all different sort of pictures.
It was nice to be natural and not to have to put on some sort of a show.

I have got our routine back in order and their homework is back on track.
Noah is proving to me that he is further ahead than his school think and the twins are doing amazingly well with their reading and writing.

Ru is going to be attending the schools nursery full time from September, so I have started to look for work.
 I'm ready for a new challenge and I'm ready to get back into the work environment.
I have been doing the mum role for nearly 10 years now and I feel I need to step into a new challenge and push myself to be the very best at another thing. 
It's time for me now and I always said once the boys were all in full time school and happy that, that would be the time for me to start working.

I have sent my CV out to a few companies so fingers crossed I hear something back sooner or later.

I am happy to be back putting some love into the blog and I'm enjoying sharing pictures on Instagram again.