Skip to main content

The Baby That Never Had a Chance.....


I was so excited about telling the world that baby number 5 was on it's way.

Last Sunday I started bleeding, it started off like spotting and I tried not to be too worried.


I rang up the EPU to get a scan booked in, they could see me the next morning.
Tuesday morning came around far too slowly.
I spent most of Monday too scared to go to the toilet for what I might see at the bottom of the toilet bowl.

I had both a tummy scan and an internal scan.
They could see no sign a of baby.

I had done 5 ... 5 bloody tests all of which were positive.
No matter how much I didn't feel pregnant after the first one, they still kept showing me I was.

The sister explained, this could have been because the pregnancy didn't progress as I thought it was progressing and ended very early on or it could mean there may be a pregnancy going on outside the womb.


I was sent off for bloods and then told to go home and wait for the results.
Again it was another day spent far too scared to go to the toilet and I tried my hardest not too as I was starting to see clots come away.

The results came in, in the afternoon and it was still showing I was pregnant.
Ectopic pregnancy was then discussed and I was told they would need to see me again on Thursday for further bloods.

Jon was away in London whilst this was going on, so I was home alone dealing with the boys as well as everything racing around my mind.
In a way it was good, as I was kept busy and I wasn't really able to sit and think about it.

Thursday came and more bloods were taken, the results didn't come back as quickly and I found myself hounding the EPU as I just needed to know.
Jon was going in for his second back operation and the boys were really starting to play up.
I was on the edge of cracking, but I had to stay strong.

I eventually had a call at 5pm and the results were still showing pregnancy hormones present but not high enough for them to be in the danger zone and be a sign on an ectopic.

I was having a miscarriage.

I could now actually start mourning the loss of the baby that never was.

I have cried, 
I have been ok,
 I have thought about the last time this happened, 
I have been fine and cried some more and now I am just angry!

I am angry at myself for getting so excited, 
I'm angry that I told people about baby number 5,
 I'm angry that I got so excited and started buying things for baby number 5!
I am just angry!

This has happened before I should know by now alway alway always wait until the first scan.
Make sure everything is ok before I get my hopes up.

I am angry and so so gutted that baby number 5 never really had a chance.




Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Pork Farm Board Games Championships

Leading pork pie manufacturers, Pork Farms are one step closer to finding their Board Games Champion with the announcement of their semi-finalists this week ahead of the grand final to be held during National Board Games Week at the end of April.


I'm pretty excited that I've been invited along to take part in the semi finals over in Orpington this coming Friday.
I don't think there's anything more entertaining than a good board game.
After a week of preliminary heats, which saw over 40 UK micro pubs participate, Pork Farms, who joined forces with the Micro pub Association have announced their top-scoring winners who will be going on to the next round. And we can now reveal the winning micro pubs heading for the semi-finals are: Anchored In Worthing, Worthing One Inn The Wood, Orpington Penny Farthing, Crayford The Last Post Derbyshire, Derby
Bake & Ale House, Kent
Early Doors, Daventry
Micro pub landlords up and down the country have awarded their competitor…

Review || Wilkinson Sword Intuition Ultra Moisture

So its my cousins wedding this weekend and I'm having to make my legs suitable for public viewing! Usually my legs are hidden and the only leg skin that see the light of day are the bits that peak out behind the holes in my jeans.

I don't tend to get my legs out but when I do, I do like them to look good!
I'm pretty lazy when it comes to shaving my legs, and I will let them grow rather wildly if I have no reason to show them off! Obviously something Jon loves hates with a passion!
I was very kindly sent Wilkinson Sword Intuition Ultra Moisture , to try! The fact its an all in one really appealed to me, because.... I am..... a lazy shaver!


Wilkinson Sword Intuition Ultra Moisture. Why use 3 razors when all you really need is 1! Intuition razors are the first 3-in-1 razors to lather, shave and moisturise in one easy step, giving your skin that naturally healthy glow. Simple and convenient, it's the perfect razor for busy women and mums on the go. Save time and money on s…

Potty Training Academy // Sticker Chart.

Ru has taken to potty training like a pro! He's had hardly any accidents and is no longer using nappies during the day.

I started him off in Bambino Mio training pants but after a day of a couple accidents he started taking himself to the toilet without any prompt from me.

I introduced him to his Potty Training Academy sticker chart on day one and he was very keen to fill it up, so even when he didn't need the loo, he would try and squeeze something out just to get a sticker.

We used both a toddler loo seat and the carry me potty, but he prefers to do his wee's just like his brothers...standing up. He sings putting out the fiiiire when he's weeing (god knows where he got that from! lol.) 

The first real test was sending him to nursery and seeing if he returned with a bag full of wet pants. I made sure the washing machine was free for his return but when he came home wearing the same outfit that he went in in was such a win.

The sticker chart was a great help with gett…