Tuesday 10 February 2015

A little bit about me ......

I don't usually talk about this but I thought it might make my everyone understand a little bit more about me 

I have Moebius syndrome 

--It is an extremely rare neurological disorder which is present at birth. The exact incidence is unknown. It is characterised by weakening or paralysis of the muscles in the face which control expression and lateral eye movements. People born with Moebius syndrome are unable to smile or frown, blink their eyes, or suck. Predominantly the sixth and seventh cranial nerves are involved but other nerves may also be affected. The sixth and seventh cranial nerves are pairs of nerves (one on each side of the face) which send messages from the brain and are responsible for certain facial movements and sensory functions. With Moebius syndrome, these nerves are either absent or underdeveloped, resulting normally in bilateral facial paralysis, although sometimes only one side is affected. Other physical problems are sometimes present in people with Moebius syndrome, such as clubfoot; mouth, tongue and jaw deformities; and respiratory illnesses.-- 

I only lack the nerves in my face, so I am unable to close my mouth, frown, smile.
I also have a funny looking finger on my left hand, which we call my hexing finger!

So sometimes people mistake me for being unfriendly and not interested.
Which is far from it, I'm a very happy go lucky kinda girl and love making new friends. 

I was raised to not think it an issue and that I was "normal" just like everyone else. 
It was never was an issue for me but that all changed when I moved onto secondary school that was where the bullying and name calling began ...
I was spat at
Told to take my mask off as it was no longer halloween
Fish face
Hamster face
Laughed and pointed at.
Pretty much every day
I must admit I was an  easy target as I never said anything back I just took it. 

I didn't really like myself and I did a lot of the self pitting that teenagers do.
I blamed my parents for making me 'ugly' 
And always asked 'why me???'
Constantly thought I would grow into a lonely old lady with lots of cats!

As I grew up, specially since becoming a mother I have learned to love myself and respect myself. I don't notice the name calling or the stares. 
I don't go out looking for it, I get on with my life and don't worry about what others are thinking, which usually is never about me anyway! 

I have four gorgeous boys and a great partner and only one cat!
I couldn't really ask for more.

I still hate having my photo taken which is why you will hardly see me in them.
I am much better than I used to be as I never let anyone take my picture unless I was hiding! 

Everything Mummy

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