My gorgeous Ru bear fills me with love and joy and I adore him but I wish oh how I wish he would just let me sleep.
Some nights he won't fall asleep till midnight... on the days he does fall asleep at a normal time he'll wake up a zillion times during the night.
The other day he was up till 3am only to wake at 6am.
I'm constantly wrapped in a blanket curled up on his floor willing him to sleep like a "normal" child.
I dont remember the last time I had a proper nights sleep, or even slept in my own bed till morning.
I'm a walk disaster, I'm trying not to let my sleep deprivation ruin me.
I'm trying to get on with life but things are slipping.
My mood is all over the place and anything can make me snap. The other boys usually get the end of my temper just for being themselves.
I'm not posting on social media or on my blog as much and when I do, I find myself doing lots of typos and spelling mistakes.
I know not posting on social media is not the be all and end all but its something I enjoy.
Rupert on the other hand. gets up and is hyper and full on the moment he opens his eyes.
I had to have a cold shower this morning just myself from the land of the mombies.
Jon is no help, he either moans when Rupert is up all night as it takes away our evening and then he moans if I'm constantly getting up to Ru's and crashing out on his floor.
It all seems to be my fault whatever with him and then he has the cheek to say he's the tired one, when he's slept all night in his own bed.
I really don't know what he expects me to do when I have tried everything I know to try!
It's not just his sleeping thats causing me to feel like I'm hitting a brick wall his eating hasn't improved either.
He ate his dinner the other night, the first time in ages and I thought oh god this is it, he's gotten over it but no.
It was just that one time and since he hasn't eaten a proper meal since.
Milk, yogurts and on occasion he'll take a bite from a kinder egg.
I've always thought maybe if he eats he'll sleep but I'm starting to think thats probably not the case with Ru.
I am desperate to see the new health visitor and god I hope I don't have to start from scratch here.
He was finally referred to the community paediatrics team before we moved and now I have no idea whats going to go on.
Sorry if this was a bit of a ramble, but it feels slightly better to get it out!