Sunday 20 December 2020

How to Raise a Confident Child

 We live in a society that places great emphasis on being confident and outgoing. Unfortunately, this causes a lot of introverted people to feel insecure. 

However, being an introvert doesn’t necessarily mean that a person isn’t confident, it just means that they value their own company. 

Regardless, it’s important for parents to try and find ways to give their children a self-esteem boost from time to time so that they learn to believe in their own abilities. Here are some tips from an independent school in Surrey.


Instilling confidence in your child is all about encouragement and the right attitude. Praise them when they deserve it and avoid being hard on them when things don’t go right. Here are some examples:


Example One: If your child studies really hard for a test and then gets a bad grade, don’t show disappointment, as this will only make them insecure.

 Instead, let them know how proud you are of them for trying their best and that making mistakes is the best way to get better at something. Knowing that you have their back no matter what will give them the reassurance they need to keep trying.


Example Two: If you notice that your child struggles with larger social gatherings and prefers quieter activities, don’t be tempted to tell them to join in anyway or try harder to have fun with the others. 

This will make them feel as though their own interests aren’t valid and being someone they’re not is the only way to get approval. Instead, let them know that the way they’re feeling is perfectly ok and that they don’t have to join in at big parties if it makes them uncomfortable. This will give them the confidence to make their own decisions. 


Example Three: If your child is very shy, avoid taking over and doing things on their behalf, as they will never learn how to stand on their own two feet. Give them some positive reinforcement and take baby steps. 

For instance, you could start by encouraging them to ask for their own meal at a restaurant, rather than ordering for them. Plan out what they should say in advance so that they don’t have to worry about saying something wrong.


The idea behind each of these examples is to instil a growth mindset in which they learn to have faith in their own abilities. 

Even if they’re scared or things go wrong, you will be there to validate them and value their input. 

They will eventually adopt the same attitude about themselves, with time and practise. 

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